This is Cellu-Lite, a multi-purpose beauty spread. Yeah, you heard. I decided to ‘develop’ Cellu-lite’s unique formulae as a backlash to the volumes of so-called anti-aging or miracle cosmetic products that are on the market. The adverts for these products are packed with quasi-science mixed with consumer opinion polls to give you the latest serum which maps and scans the contours of your face on application and works to plump and smooth your naturally aging skin. Apparently..

Patrick, Martin and I worked on this, and in early discussions, we decided we wanted it to have many ‘uses’ or to develop a product range that would span a few of the absurd aspects of cosmetic consumer culture. We thought that a product that could be used on the face, toast and furniture was an absurd enough span.

Here is some quasi science from real life:

Here is some quasi-science from Cellu-Lite:

I opted to use language that would mimic the existing blurb of cosmetic packaging. To translate, The New Beauty Spread from Cellu-Lite has been made out of a mix of fats that were found underground.

Please take a closer look at this:

This stuff is £460 for 60ml.  Apparently it’s been bio-engineered. Got to love the science words, there.

One Response to “Cellu-Lite”

  1. fred says:


    Don’t forget to put up the development of Hype-wipes including that convo we had.